Doncaster football team walks for 24 hours to support baby loss
Sands United Doncaster, a football team built by grieving fathers who united together in loss, have made strides towards funding a brand new baby bereavement suite for Doncaster Hospital.
The squad hosted a 24 hour charity walk on the 8th to the 9th of October, trekking around
Doncaster Lakeside and collected over £200 in donations. John Drury, 29, founder of Sands United Doncaster, said: “We wrote over 60 baby names on a big piece of card and put it in a pushchair for the walk. People came throughout the day and we completed the walk in shifts.
“My wife made candles, in pink, blue and orange to raise money. The orange was for those who didn’t know the gender of their angels. We’ve made over £200 that way too.”
Sands United Doncaster was established in November 2018 by Mr Drury, following the loss of his son Arthur in February of the same year.
He said: “When he was born, It took what felt like a lifetime to hear his first cry. He was whisked away to the neonatal intensive care unit for testing and scans to see what care he needed.”
At two in the morning, Arthur Sutton Drury was two hours old, Mr Drury added: “He was still breathing fine on his own.
“But not long after that, the baby doctors revealed everything wrong with him and said he needed an operation immediately.”
Arthur was alive for just six hours.
Mr Drury said: “Arthur died in my arms after experiencing cardiac arrest on the operating table before the doctors were able to administer the general anaesthetic.”
Although the pregnancy had complications, Mr Drury said: “I knew Arthur would be poorly and would need a few surgeries, but it wasn’t until he was born and things were worse than expected that I really grasped the intensity and seriousness of it all.”
After Arthur’s death, Mr Drury saw the Sands United Northampton twitter account and became inspired to start a branch in Doncaster.
He said: “I always dreamed of playing football with my son. Even though he’s not there, he’s with me on my shirt, he’s with me on my tattoos.
“Standing on the pitch is knowing the person next to me knows exactly what I’m feeling. I don’t expect someone who hasn’t experienced loss to understand it. Standing beside someone who knows is enough.”
Within six months, the Doncaster branch already had 20 members, and now has over 50 men involved.
Luke Skeates and Deena Neall experienced two miscarriages this year.
Joining Sands United Doncaster after the first miscarriage in April was the 29 year old metal sheet worker’s ‘godsend’.
He said: “The support they’ve shown is unreal. They’ve sent us flowers, lit candles for us, and even played a football match dedicated to my baby. They know exactly what you’re going through.”
Mr Skeates said: “During the scan where she found out she had miscarried, I had to sit outside in my car and not be involved in anything as it was lockdown.
“She was alone with two strangers when she was told she had lost her baby.”
They found out they were pregnant again in early September, Mr Skeates added: “I was over the moon, I cried my eyes out. I was half excited and half scared because of the first one.”
Sadly, his partner miscarried at five weeks.
After learning of Sands United Doncaster through social media, the Doncaster Royal Infirmary approached Mr Drury to discuss a fundraising partnership.
The Hospital plans to build a new bereavement suite, separate from the labor ward, later this year.
Rhian Morris, 42, a specialist midwife for bereavement services said, “We want to give women the dignity and support they deserve.
“It’s tough to experience a miscarriage or stillbirth while being next to a woman who gave birth to a live baby.”
“The plan is to fill the room with comfy sofas, a TV, and a double bed where partners can comfort and hold each other as they grieve,” Mrs Morris said.
Unfortunately, plans to build the suite have been delayed after a flood occurred earlier this year, with half the hospital still out of action and the allocated corridor still out of power.
Click here to help Sands United Doncaster raise money for the new bereavement suite